Seasonal Friendship

I entered college as a freshman at High Point University in the fall of 1995.  I can't believe it's been seventeen years since then.

My goodness, that sounds like forever ago. 

That is when I was first introduced to email.  

I remember going to the basement of the university library and signing onto the computer. 

The emails I most looked forward to reading were from my high school friends, seven girls who had served as my lifeline during the years preceding my college life.  

They had gone to other colleges in North Carolina.  Though they were only minutes away, it was such a larger distance between us than we'd ever experienced.  For me, it was devastating.  I felt as though a part of me was missing.  Those daily emails brought me joy, making me feel complete again.

At that time, we passed around a lot of copied emails that revolved around the topic of friendship.  One message that particularly struck me discussed friendship as a seasonal event, describing individuals that come in and out of our lives for various periods of time and different reasons.  (http://www.danceadts.com/newarticles/seasonsoffriendship.pdf)

I didn't like this particular email.  

I could not imagine ever drifting away from the high school friends who I had recently left behind.  Yes, we were physically miles apart, but we would always be close at heart.  

I was so naive.

I thought that about the friendships I developed in college as well.  I lived with these girls, sharing everything from rooms, meals, Jesus, trials, triumphs, secrets and more.  In those moments of closeness and camaraderie, I could not imagine my life ever without them in it.

Of course, now - seventeen years later, I see the truth in that email message I read so long ago.  

Other than my husband, I have only one friend from high school with whom I still share an unbreakable connection.  She is my very best friend in the whole world.  I don't know what I would do without her.  Love you Wendy!  

I have only one friend from college who I must see once a month before I go into withdrawal.  Had fun yesterday Molly!

Perhaps because I am older, more experienced, less naive...  I now understand that the majority of friendships do last only for a season.  God brings people into our lives for many purposes, but mostly because we need each other during that time.  And then, for whatever reason, we don't need each other anymore.

I look back at the people who at one time played such a vital role in my life.  Whether it be during high school and college, or during my "preschooling mommy" years...  We're not close friends anymore.  

Sometimes this makes me sad.  

Yet I realize those friendships did serve a purpose.  

God brought Heather, Crystal, Melissa, Wendy, Melissa, Beth and Kim to me in high school to love me unconditionally during those confusing teenage years when I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go.

God brought April, Melissa, Amy, Molly, Tonia, Hala, Beth, Jamie, Maida, Rachel, Nicole, Daviana, Heather, Wendy, and so many others, to help me know God in a way I'd never known Him before, and to keep me safe during my  adventuresome college years.

God brought me Marina, Karen, Julie, Jennifer, Beth, Christy, Erin, JoAnna, Wendy, Bethany, Danielle, Sabena, Cathy and many others, to support me, encourage me and help me maintain my sanity during my early motherhood years. 

To all these people who I have had the privilege of calling my friend...

God brought you into my life for a reason.  For this I am truly grateful.  

Thank you for being my friend.

...

In nature, seasons end.  But we find comfort in knowing that season will come around again next year.  Sometimes, this happens in friendship as well.  A friend who had floated out of your life years ago, may some day float back in.  

I'd like to tell you more about the friend God gave back to me in my next blog...

My Meal Plan

If you know me at all, you know I have been dubbed the Queen of Organization.  

I love being organized.  And, as I say to those who have come into my home and marveled at my organized chaos, This is both a blessing and a curse.

I willingly admit, not only do I like to organize, but I also like to have things organized. 

Yes, there is a difference.  Let me explain...

First of all, I absolutely look forward to completing projects that require boxes, baskets, labels, etc...  One of my favorite possessions is my label maker.  I have labeled bins identifying the toys in my boys' rooms.  I have labeled baskets explaining what type of books are inside.  I have labeled almost every area, every cubby, every drawer, and every shelf in our homeschool room.  I have even labeled my boys' dresser drawers to help them in putting their clothes away.  These are examples of how I like to organize.  Each of these organizing projects have reaped blessings upon me in the form of declutter.

Now, I also like to have things organized.  This is where the curse comes in.  When things are not organized, and it is beyond my control to organize them, this completely stresses me out.  When we've had lots of events on our calendar, and I have been unable to keep up with the housework, I come completely unglued. When we are part of a group, and the leader suffers from attention-deficit-disorder, I want to throw a temper tantrum.  When I listen to a message, and there is no obvious flow or train-of-thought, I simply cannot focus.

So, to summarize, disorganization makes me crazy.  Organization keeps me in my happy place.

I know.  I'm a freak.

Perhaps my freakish organizational OCD can be helpful to you.

...

I was so embarrassed after yesterday's blog post about my day of unhealthy food choices, I decided to attempt an organized meal plan.  I am hoping that by organizing our food choices ahead of time, I will be more conscious of what I what I put on the table at meal times .  (Also, hopefully this will make us less likely to eat out three meals in one day.)

So here it is...

Morning Snack = Cereal

My boys LOVE cereal.  I don't to deprive them of this. Still, we will make healthier cereal choices.

Afternoon Snack = Pick a Stick from Snack Attack Jar

My plan is to write a lot of healthy snack options on popsicle sticks.  Put those stick in a decorated jar.  Let the boys pick a stick.  That's what our snack will be that day.

LUNCH - Sweet Saturday @ Gail's

Gail is my mother-in-law.  She is a saint.  She makes lunch for my family every Saturday.  Isn't that sweet?  Hence the "Sweet Saturday".  I love her.  :)

As you can see, I've tried to be realistic by not limiting us to 100% healthy meals.  However, I can guarantee, if I am able to stick to this menu plan, I will feel much better about what I am feeding my family.  

Please feel free to duplicate our meal plan and adapt it to your family's likes.

God bless!

Phil 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Focus on the Positive

I ate out for every meal today.  This is so embarrassing.  I can't believe I'm telling you this.

Hardee's for breakfast - a chicken biscuit and a large Dr. Pepper.  My kids wanted Bojangles, but this Bojangles does not have Dr. Pepper, so we had to go to Hardee's.

Sam's Club for lunch - a huge slice of three-meat pizza and a large Coke.  They didn't have Dr. Pepper.  What?!

Los Tres Jinetes for supper - half a chile relleno (I would have eaten the whole thing, but this one was on the spicy side), one crunchy taco, rice and water.  Only because Keith was there; otherwise I would have probably ordered a Dr. Pepper.  And the chips and cheese dip don't count, right?

I know this looks bad.  It does.

I am truly embarrassed.

Honestly I didn't even think before I ordered or while I ate.  I just hurried my meals along with the rest of my day.

In fact, the only reason I am telling you this is because just a few minutes ago I received a text from a friend  - a fellow passenger in the same boat as me, traveling on a sea of seemingly impossible tasks (quiet time, diet, exercise, etc.) in hopes of reaching the land of self-improvement.

She admitted her imperfections of the day.  So I in turn admitted mine.

At the end of each of our confessions, we chose to add something positive, hoping to make us feel less like today was a complete failure.

And you know what?  It worked.  Focus on the positive.

...

I am choosing to ignore the fat, carbs, high fructose corn syrup, and everything else I put into my body that is so not good for me today.

I choose to focus on the positive.

Breakfast - I did not order hash browns.  This is a good thing.

Lunch - It cost us less than $7 to eat.  So I'm saving money, which is also on my to-do list.

Supper - I drank water.  It's a good thing Keith was there.  And tacos have vegetables.  Woohoo!  Go me!

So, while today's menu is not something I am proud of.  I am not going to berate myself for my lack of self-control.  Instead I'm going to pat myself on the back for the good things I did.

And tomorrow, I'll actually try to make better choices.  :)


Phil 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

All Together

There are a few women in my life who seem to think I have it all-together.  Or at least they did until my most recent blog posts.

The fact that I homeschool, cook, and don't have a filthy dirty house amazes them.  While I bask in their praise and envy, their awe of my daily grind also makes me very uncomfortable.  Because I know what they don't know.

I don't have it all-together. 

...

Almost two weeks ago, I started this "Journey to a Better Me".  In response to my self-inflicted pep talks, to-do lists and openly honest lack of accomplishment, I have received an overwhelming amount of positive feedback.

Thank you for that. 

I realize I've struck a chord with many women my age.  I'm putting in writing, for all the world to see, what most of us are only thinking in our heads.

I don't have it all together.


While many of us struggle with consistent reminders of our ever-present imperfections, I would like to comfort you with this fact.  That woman who you are idolizing as the perfect wife, or the talented homemaker, or the all-inspiring supermom...  She doesn't have it all together either.

I know this because many of the women in my life, who I have put on that pedestal of flawlessness, have willingly stepped down to admit my view of them is only a mirage.

For these women, I am so thankful...

• the woman who told me that she has always felt insecure about the fact that she provides no financial contribution to her household
• the woman who expressed feelings of inadequacy every time she steps in her friend's house
• the woman who admitted she forgets to pray
• the woman who confessed to a satisfying addiction to Coca-Cola  ;)
• the woman who called to tell me she too has faltered in her walk with Jesus
• the woman who texted me a picture of her Morning Prayer Routine

Thank you so much for your honesty.  You are such a blessing to me.  You have encouraged me more than you'll ever know.

I am especially thankful for the woman who, the day after my first "Journey" blog post, reassured me that every woman feels the way I feel.  I didn't believe her at first.  But now I do.  I hope you do too.

While we may not have it "all-together", we are all together in this journey.  I find comfort in knowing I am not walking alone.

I pray this knowledge is comforting to you as well.

God bless!


Phil 4:13
I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me.

A bad case of loving...

Last Wednesday I created a to-do list (http://braypartyof4.blogspot.com/2012/07/my-to-do-list.html) to guide me on my path to betterness.  (My spell check keeps telling me "betterness" is not a word.  Like Webster is the only person who can make up a word!)

I printed this to-do list and review it almost everyday.  There's nothing I feel ready to "mark off", but I have made some steps in the right direction.  Yay! (Apparently Webster thinks "yay" is not a word either.  I'm sorry to digress, but these little red underlines drive me crazy.)

However...

There is one item on my to-do list that is so monumental, I cringe at the idea of its completion.  For that very reason, I thought I should attempt it first...  Stop drinking Dr. Pepper.


So, on Wednesday of last week, inspired by my own blog post, I did not drink a soft drink all day long.  I was so proud of myself.  I went to bed on cloud nine, feeling like a superhero.  WooHoo! (Also not a word.)  Go me!!!!

Then I woke up on Thursday...

The only thing on my mind was Dr. Pepper.  It was all I could think about.

I once saw an episode of Raising Hope where all the dad could think about was the word "think".  He even visualized a little man inflating this huge "think" balloon until it exploded into a million little "thinks".

Well, that was me, only replace the "think balloon" with a huge can of Dr. Pepper.

I love Dr. Pepper.

I made it until 10:30 that morning.  Then I drank three Dr. Peppers.

Dr. Pepper makes me so happy.

Still, not wanting to fail, I attempted to abstain again on Sunday.  This time I replaced my Dr. Pepper with Caffeine-free Coke.  Again, I went to bed feeling like I'd accomplished something big.

Then I woke up on Monday...

Yeah...  That didn't really work out...

So, as I sit here typing this blog post and thoroughly enjoying my Dr. Pepper, I relinquish myself to the fact that Stop drinking Dr. Pepper will be the very last item to be crossed off my to-do list.  In fact, it may NEVER be crossed off my to-do list.

And I'm okay with that.

I know it's not good for me.  I know this.

I am conscious of when and how often I drink it.  And I am striving for improvement in this area.  But I have no desire to let go of my addiction to its famous 23 flavors.  At least not now.  I'm just not ready to give it up.

Dr. Pepper!  
Give me the news!  
I got a BAD CASE of loving you!  
No other taste gives me the thrill you do!  
I got a BAD CASE of loooving you!




Phil 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


So when I am ready, He will give me the strength to follow through...  :)

Good morning, God. It's me, Marci.

My husband, Keith, gets up every morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed - eager to start the day.  

I am not this way.  

They say opposites attract.  I'm quite certain, if Keith had seen the morning version of Marci prior to our marriage, he might not have found me so attractive.  

I'm just not what you would call "a morning person".  I don't wake up with a smile on my face.  I don't jump out of bed.  I don't sing happy songs.  

I have to force my eyes open, and convince myself it is time to get up.  I give myself a little pep talk, hoping it will inspire me to pull the covers off and crawl out of bed.  It's time to get up.  It's after 8.  Look at all you have to do today.  You should get up, so you can get started.  At this point, I normally ignore myself, roll over and go back sleep.

Twenty minutes later, I try again.  It's 8:30.  You have to get up.  The boys are already up.  You should be up.  

Before I know it, it's 9am.  If you don't get up now, you are the worst mother in the world.

This works EVERY time.  I'm up.  I'm not fully awake, but I am up.  So I'm not the worst mother in the world, right?

My husband and kids are used to this by now.  It takes Mommy a good thirty minutes to wake up AFTER she gets out of bed.  

If any one speaks to me during that first half hour, they rarely receive an audible response.  It's more like a growl.  Thankfully, they find this amusing.  Also, thankfully, I'm too tired to actually bite their heads off.

As you might have guessed, this is an area of my life that I've determined needs improvement.

Sooooo....  for the last week, I've tried to think about God as soon as I wake up.  This helps me to remember to pray.  (I'm ashamed to admit that I have to remind myself to pray in the morning, but I do.)  Good morning, God.  It's me, Marci.  I'm so tired.  I don't want to get out of bed, but I know I should.  Please give me the strength to get out of bed.

On the days I've remembered to have this conversation with God as soon as I wake up, it's like I come to life quicker – in fact, almost immediately.  

Focusing on God the moment I open my eyes, (okay, maybe a few minutes after I open my eyes) helps me to greet the day ahead on a positive note.  

So I find myself actually awake as I start my morning routine - go to the bathroom, wash my hands, make the bed...  Because I am awake and able to think, then I take the time to sit down and spend a few more minutes in prayer.  

This is a new task on my morning routine to-do list.  I want to be sure I don't forget to thank God or to ask Him to be with me throughout my day.  So, with the help of Cindi Wood, author of Victoriously Frazzled: The Frazzled Female's Guide to Restoring Her Sanity  (I highly recommend this awesome Bible Study), I've adopted a Morning Prayer Checklist.  It looks like this...

1.  Recite Psalm 5:3 - My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord, in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.

2.  Pray Psalm 143:8 - Cause me to hear they lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust:  cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

3.  Thank God - Thank you for saving me and for pursuing a love relationship with me.

4.  Ask God - Please intervene in the specifics of my day ahead.  I tell God what I have planned for the day, and ask Him to lead my feet and guide my heart as I do these things.

5.  Listen to the Good Morning song - I am a huge fan of Mandisa.  My absolute favorite song right now is her Good Morning song.  It's the perfect words and music to get me started on the right track.

I've inserted a link to Cindi Wood's Bible Study available at LifeWay Christian Stores...

http://www.lifeway.com/Product/victoriously-frazzled-bible-study-P001303868

 as well as a link to Mandisa's Good Morning song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnmWwudeqfM

"I can feel the hope that's rising in me"

I hope you find this helpful.  

God bless!!!

Phil 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Think, Think, Think

The thing I love most about Winnie the Pooh is how he forces himself to sit down and think.  I just find it so adorable when he's sitting there next to the sign marked "Pooh's Thotful Spot" tapping his index finger to his forehead saying, "Think, think, think".  

I never really appreciated how much work Pooh puts into such a task.  How hard can it be sit down and think?  I'm learning now, it's harder than it looks.

As I've pondered my to-do list over the last couple days, I've realized that very few of the items I have listed are actually difficult.  In fact, most of them require little time or energy to be completed.  

What they do require is thought.  

Why have I not been praying when I wake up in the morning?  Why have I not consistently initiated a daily quiet time?  Why don't I take my medicine everyday?

The answer is embarrassing.

I just don't think about it.  

I didn't realize how much of my time I spend functioning on auto-pilot.  I'm walking through the motions of my day like a zombie, neither rightly conscious of the decisions I am making, nor the least bit concerned about the long-term effect of those decisions.

Until now.  

Now I'm trying to be more like Winnie-the-Pooh.  Think, think, think.  

I've found that there is quite an effort required to think, think, think.  Especially first thing in the morning.

I'm so used to crawling out of bed and following my current routine --- go to the bathroom, wash my hands, check on the boys, make sure they get breakfast, take a shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, make sure boys are dressed, make sure boys have brushed their teeth, grab a Dr. Pepper, start a load of dishes, start a load of laundry...  yada, yada, yada...

Look how much time I've wasted NOT thinking.

Still, let's be honest.  My morning tasks are not rocket-science.  So what is there to think about?  

ANSWER -  

1. God
2. Prayer for my husband, my children, my family, my friends, for others and for myself
3. Scripture
4. Praise & Worship
5. Healthy choices for breakfast
6. Taking my medicine
7. Drinking water

And this is just during the first hour of my day.  

Do you see how much more blessed my day could be to myself, to my God and to others, if only I would think, think, think?

...

I always viewed Winnie-the-Pooh as an icon of my childhood.  But now...

Now Winnie-the-Pooh is my hero.

Phil 4:13

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.