Sunday, May 29, 2011

Homeschool Highs, Homeschool Lows

I am so excited to report that the Bray family has successfully completed our first year of homeschooling at Chapel Hill Academy.  What a year it was!  When I decided last spring that we would begin homeschooling in the Fall of 2010, I thought I knew what I was getting into.  Silly me...

If you know me at all, you know that I am an organized FREAK!  So, I spent the entire summer dedicating a room in our house to serve as our "school".  I told myself all summer long, "If I can get this room set up and organized, I'll be good to go".  I spent hours searching the web for the best prices on the things I wanted for this room - a dry erase board, a cork board, a book rack, curriculums, etc.  I  went to thrift stores and yard sales.  I got everything I thought I needed.  When August arrived, we were ready... or so I thought...

Our first month was a breeze.  It was fun.  It was exciting.  And I was thrilled.  But as the days of October passed, I started to lose my confidence.  We had finished our first unit study in Science, and I had no idea where to go from there.  I do what I always do when I don't know what to do...  I panicked.  I carried on as best I knew how, but I felt helpless and clueless.  I began to wonder if I was really doing what was best for my children. 

A friend of mine, who has homeschooled for the past three years, recognized the first year jitters I was experiencing, and swept in to rescue me.  (Thank you Bethany!)  She reassured me that all was well and introduced me to the curriculums and methods she uses with her children.  I felt reassured and found renewed self-esteem, which carried me through the next two months... 

Then I started questioning myself again.  That voice of negativity crept into my mind and whispered self-depracating thoughts - "What am I doing?"  "Are they learning what they need to know?"  "I'm not a teacher."  "Am I ruining my children's education?"  "Am I ruining their lives?"  But then the sweetest thing happened...

My kindergartener read a sentence to me.  He read a sentence!  All by himself!!!  I taught him that!

This changed everything, for me and for them.  I realized, I can do this.  And they realized, Mommy can do this!  And all was well, at least for a little while...

In April, my oldest son took the CAT test, which is required for homeschooled children ages 7 and up.  I was much more nervous than he was.  In fact, I totally played it down for him because I didn't want him to feel stressed out.  I was stressed enough for the both of us.  This test requirement is really just for the parents, so we know what our children are learning and not learning, and we can adjust our teaching accordingly.  So it really is not that big a deal.  But if you know me at all, you know that I cannot ignore the results of this test.  I want him to do well, so I know if I am doing well.  So he took the test, informing me afterward that it had sections on Science and Social Studies, and he didn't believe he did well on either one.  I totally freaked out!  I didn't realize these subjects would be on the test, and I hadn't focused on them much this year.  Oh no!!!!   I'm thinking what a horrible job I've done.  How could I not have focused more on Science and Social Studies?  What kind of teacher am I?  These subjects would not have been ignored at the public school.  What is wrong with me? 

We waited a grueling month before we got his test results back.

I think I've posted this before, but in case you forgot, I'll say it again...  MY SON IS A GENIUS!!!!  I'm saying that as a completely unbiased mother of course :)

All kidding aside, he did very well.  (Thank God!)  Even on Science and Social Studies.

So, I'm feeling pretty good right now, despite the frequent highs and lows we faced on this roller-coaster first year of homeschooling.  My youngest son can read, and my oldest son knows most everything a second grader should know at this point.  It seems that Chapel Hill Academy is a great place to learn.