There's a saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." I disagree. Words are more hurtful to me than any bodily injury. Wounds inflicted to my body will heal, but the pain caused by another's hurtful words will never be forgotten, especially when those words come from someone you love - someone you trust - someone who should be supporting you, not tearing you down.
In the case that spawned this blog, it was a group of people. People that I trust, and whose opinion matter to me. I know it wasn't their intention to cause me pain, but that's what happens isn't it. We speak openly without considering the impact of our words.
Especially when it comes to parenting. What a sensitive subject, for mothers imparticular. If you want to hit a mom where it hurts, question her role as a mother - the decisions she makes regarding her children.
Speaking from experience, as a stay-at-home mom, I truly believe this one of the hardest responsibilities one can have. It is hard on your heart, hard on your body, hard on your patience, hard on your mind and hard on your soul. The moment they place that precious child in your arms, you start to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. Oh my goodness. I am responsible for this child. Wow. He is completely dependent on me. He will spend the majority of his days as a preschooler with me. Not only am I responsible for feeding, dressing, and bathing him. I am also responsible for his education. I am responsible for his spiritual growth. I am responsible for building his character. Wow. And there is no manual, no job description. It's hard.
I've never struggled with self-esteem issues... until I became a parent. Because I know that each move I make as a mother pertaining to my children is ultimately going to effect the person they become. Now, I am always second guessing every decision, lying in bed each night critiquing myself, wondering if I am doing a good job.
But what makes motherhood the hardest, in my opinion, is that there are so many people out there who are eager to tell you what you are not doing right. Other parents who think their way is the right way, and willlingly pass judgement on you for your way of doing things. I'm amazed at how, not only strangers, but friends and family, let you know when they think your children are less than perfect.
I am not foolish enough to think that my children are perfect in the eyes of this world. But they are perfect to me, in spite of their imperfections. They are boys, and believe me, I'm the first to say, they are ALL BOY. And I know I am not the perfect parent. I don't expect to be, nor do I expect anyone to tell me that I am.
I guess my point is, words are never more painful than when they attack what is nearest and dearest to your heart. My children are nearest and dearest to my heart. And nothing is more important to me than my responsibility for them and to them.
While I know my children are not perfect in your eyes; they are not wildly, uncontrollable five and seven year olds who think the world revolves around their happiness.
While I know I am not the perfect parent, I know I am doing the best I can. No one is more critical of my decisions regarding my children than I am.
So if you don't have anything nice to say... about my children, or my parenting style... PLEASE, don't say anything at all.
6 comments:
You are 100% correct and you are not alone.....I think we all lay in bed at night (or at some point) and critique ourselves......it is normal for parents....(most of us, anyways) As "mommys", we all have a huge responsibility and yes, it is ALL on us! It gets very difficult, at times, but we always seem to get through it, good or bad.......I completely understand where you are coming from! I hope things look up for you!
Proverbs 31 girl, Proverbs 31.
I agree. I stopped listening to all the critics along time ago. I know that God has intrusted four precious souls to Ronnie and I. We do not take that lightly. As parents if we pray and seek God's direction in raising our children and we are following His Will for our family then I know it will be alright in the end. Mistakes and all. (we will make them, due to the human's we are)
As a parent we understand that each child has their own personality, strengths, weaknesses, etc. But we work on the weaknesses and praise the strengths so they will be healthy, happy adults.
I have two boys. And boy is that a handful. But they are children. Learning right from wrong. They did not come out knowing it all. (although Logan would argue that one) (LOL, he thinks he knows it all)
If others have an opion, it is just that. An Opion. Nothing more.
You are a great mom. You are a great person. You are a great friend.
We can't be so focused on the trees that we can't see the forest.
It was opinion.
You're the perfect parent for your kids--that's why God blessed and entrusted you with them. :-) S
Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I knew my fellow "mommy friends" would understand.
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