If I Lived in Genoa City...

My most guiltiest pleasure is my daily viewing of The Young and the Restless, also know to the daytime drama's most avid fans as Y&R.  I usually avoid telling anyone that I "waste" an hour of each day losing myself in the non-reality of this soap opera.  I fully expect the jaw-dropping, wide-eyed expression, followed by, "How can you watch that garbage?"  My only response is, "I don't know, but I LOVE it!"  I love the fact that none of what I am watching is at all close to the reality of my life.  Therefore, it serves as an escape from those mundane activities that are required daily of a wife and mother - the laundry, the dishes, the sweeping, the mopping, the scrubbing, the ironing (wait, I refuse to iron...  scratch ironing), the cleaning, the cleaning, the cleaning, etc., etc., etc.

Still, if you're not a soap opera junkie, like me, I don't expect you to understand.  There is only one person in the whole world who I know without a doubt will understand, and that is because this show gets to her in just the same way it gets to me.  So to my bestest friend in the whole-wide world, Wendy ~ I dedicate this blog to you!  :)

If I Lived in Genoa City....

1. I would always be beautiful.  Every hair would be exactly in place.  My makeup would be perfectly applied.  And I would have the most awesome wardrobe EVER.
2. I would never wear jeans, because I would have the most awesome wardrobe EVER.
3. I would never cook or clean, or even go to the bathroom for that matter.  I have servants who can do those things for me.
4. I would marry my soulmate, then cheat on him with his brother or his best friend, or possibly even his father (because he doesn't look old enough to be his father).
5. I would wind-up divorced, yet still be filthy rich, so no great loss.
6. I would marry my soulmate's arch-enemy, even though I am still so madly in love with my soulmate.
7. I would be involved in some sort of disaster (a car accident, a fire, a building falling on top of me), and my soulmate would realize how much he loves me, even though I cheated on him, and he would rescue me.
8. I would leave my soulmate's arch-enemy, and remarry my soulmate.
9. We would have beautiful children together, whom we never have to do anything for because we have servants and nannies who raise them for us.
10. We would send our beautiful children off to boarding school at the young age of two, and they would return one year later at the young age of eighteen.  My how time flies in Genoa City!
11. Someone I know would end up in a coma...  for three months... and just when we think they won't make it, and we've given up all hope... they'll wake up. 
12. My soulmate would be murdered right before my very eyes.  And I'll cry and sob and scream, but still look beautiful.
13. I would learn that my father was not really my father.  My mother actually had an affair with his brother, and he's my real father.  WHAT?!  How could my mother cheat on my father with his brother?!  Oh wait, I did the same thing.  Oops.  My bad.
14. I would learn that my soulmate is not really dead after all.  He was just pretending to be dead because he was trying to protect me.
15. I would be angry at my soulmate and cry and sob and scream, but still look beautiful.  Then I would forgive my soulmate and be so happy that he is alive.
16. I would figure out that my soulmate is not my soulmate, but he's my soulmate's evil twin brother whom I never knew about. 
17. I would find out I have cancer, and it's so agressive that I probably won't live, but I WOULD live because I'm so young and too beautiful to die.
18. I would become an alcoholic and be a lousy drunk, and my soulmate, or his twin brother (because they are both so madly in love with me) would swoop in and take me to an awesome rehab center, where I would be totally rehabilitated.
19. I would never age.  How nice.
20. I would never die.  You might think I was dead.  They would have my funeral and everything, but I'm not really dead.  I've been living in a small-recluse town, where no one knows who I really am.  But don't worry, I'll always come back to life in Genoa City!!!!!