I want to be a farmer too.

My husband and I went to Elisha's funeral on Friday.  I have never been to a funeral where I left feeling better than I had when I arrived.  But isn't it just like Elisha to have a funeral like that.

When we walked in, there were three screens running through a collage of pictures dating back to her childhood.  We were provided a glimpse into the past, when she was young with long dark hair, and big brown eyes.  The family included some humorous photos that made everyone chuckle when they came on the screen.  We watched her grow up right before our eyes.

Her preacher was emotional, as is expected considering he, like so many of us, prayed diligently and believed she would be healed.  What he said, that stuck with me the most, was he is just as disappointed as the rest of us that it had come to this - Elisha being in Heaven, instead of here on Earth.  He didn't try to explain how or why this happened.  He stood there and mourned for her, just like the rest of us were doing.  For some reason, I found that comforting.

Her brother-in-law, Cole...  Wow.  Now he brought the whole room to tears the moment he started speaking.  Or trying to speak.  He couldn't get his first few words out because he was so overcome with grief.  It was heartbreaking.  But then he began to tell us how awesome Elisha was.  And you could feel the tears begin to fade into smiles, and giggles.  Happy memories began to push away the grief.  At least for a little while.

He read from her blog.  (http://elisha-everthesame.blogspot.com/)  I thought this was genius.  What better way to comfort those who love her than with her own words...

"I can look back and see God's hand on my life the entire time. 

The devil is good at what he does. He really is. He came to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to steal my joy, kill my body, destroy my family, my relationships, my life even. I'm happy to tell him, He's a big, fat failure. It's just not going to happen. 

My decision is to live my life. Regardless of what ... good news or bad news is given to me ... I am going to live for Jesus. I really do give my life to him. I am going to keep on, keeping on. I will be joyful. I will stand by my God. I will keep trying to show his love to others with how I live my life. I will live my entire life thanking God for my family, my blessings. I'm going to live my life praising God until the last breath my body takes.

I don't care if cancer kills me in a year, 10 years, whatever. If I die, I want ya'll to tell people, Yes, she died, but the devil still didn't win.  I refuse to be continually discouraged.  Jesus loves me, he died for my sins, so I could have eternal life. His mercies (thankfully) are new every day. He wants me to be encouraged, uplifted, joyful, thankful, happy. And that's what I'm going to be. The devil may succeed in ruining a few days now and then. But he will not win over my life.

I know there is a plan for me. Jesus has had his eye on me from the very beginning, even when I was just a little peanut, before my birth, in my mama's womb. He had good plans. He has given me a wonderful life, filled with love and amazing people. I have the soul mate I've always dreamed of. I have a beautiful little boy, if I do say so myself. My decision is to enjoy what I've been blessed with, focus on the positive in my life, and keep trying to be the best I can be. 

In totally submitting my life to Jesus, I will answer whatever calling is on my life. If I'm to witness through this blog, if I'm to write a book, if I'm just to give others inspiration with my story, whatever it is, I'm going to do it. The devil picked the wrong girl and he seriously underestimated me and he underestimated my God if he thinks what's happening to me is going to ruin me. It's not. I'm not ruined. In fact, I'm stronger and more uplifted than ever. 

This post may be a little bit all over the place, and it might be weird to some reading this, but I've got to say, it's from my heart. I am simply refusing to give in and let this mess over take me. I may have rough days, and I know we all do from time to time. But I'm making the decision to praise God and be thankful regardless of my circumstance. 

I'm deciding to put all my trust and faith in the Lord, it's the safest place I can be."

Cole shared some texts Elisha had sent to her sister, Karen, about a message she had heard at church one Sunday.  Her preacher talked about our role in bringing others to Christ.  Following that service, Elisha and her husband, Steven, had a discussion in which she told him that she'd never led anyone to the Lord.  Steven told her she was wrong.  She had led him to the Lord.

Wow.  How awesome is that?  I think everyone was truly moved, just imagining that moment of realization for her.  She had brought her husband into a personal relationship with Jesus.  I wonder if everyone else was thinking what I was thinking.  "Who have I led to the Lord?"

In closing, Cole told us that Elisha saw herself as "a farmer".  Everyone laughed, assuming she was referring to the fact that she lived on a chicken farm.  But that's not what she meant.  She realized that, through her blog, she was touching lives, and telling people about Jesus.  She was planting seeds of faith into the hearts of every person who read her words.  She was a farmer.

...

Elisha used to tell me that I am brave.  Because of the things I write about on my blog.  Which is mostly all about me.

Me?  Brave?  This coming from the girl who faced breast cancer, chemotherapy, hair loss, sickness, radiation, etc.

I'm not brave.

I just like to write.

Writing about myself is not brave.  Writing about myself is safe.  No one can get upset with me for the things I say about myself.  Except me.  That's not brave at all.

Elisha was probably one of the biggest fans of my blog.  She loved every thing I wrote.  She would text me after most every post to let me know she read it, and she loved it.  She even shared some of my posts on her Facebook page.

When she would write a blog post, she would always send a text to let me know.  I think my response to every post started off with these three words - "I love it!"  Because I did.  I loved every thing she wrote.  Her posts were awesome.  Her words were always powerful, touching your heart and staying with you for days.

...

My posts always tell a story, providing insight into my life, my heart, and my mind.

Elisha's posts inspired, uplifted, encouraged, and always pointed to God.

...

It makes me sad to realize she won't be writing any more posts.  Her blog touched so many more people than mine ever will.

I want my blog to be more like Elisha's blog.

Perhaps I should try to incorporate some of Elisha's blogging methods into my future writings.  I can tell a story, which is what I do best, and then find a way to point it back to God.  To honor her memory, I will try to inspire, uplift and encourage.

Elisha was a farmer.  I want to be a farmer too.