I think the hardest thing about suffering from thyroid issues is when the world looks at you, they can't see there is anything wrong. I'm sure this is the case with other sicknesses as well. But my thyroid began betraying me about eight years ago, so I can speak from experience concerning the struggles that follow.
I didn't remember how alone I felt during that first year following my diagnosis until I chatted with a friend who just recently learned that she too is experiencing thyroid mishap. She sat across from me, tears streaming down her face, describing exactly how I felt, and all I could do was cry for her. I hate to see anyone go through what I've been through..
...
My thyroid adventure led me down a path of deep depression. But it wasn't just me who felt overwhelmed before I even got out of bed in the morning. I dragged my husband down with me. We went to very dark places. Not always together. Sometimes very far apart.
I remember my first visit to a highly recommended endocrinologist. Our conversation went something like this...
Dr.: How long ago did they kill your thyroid?
Me: One year ago.
Dr.: And they haven't gotten you regulated yet?
Me: No.
Dr.: And you're still married?
Me (looking to Keith, a little confused): Yes.
Dr.: And you haven't killed anyone?
Me (amused): No.
Dr.: And obviously your husband hasn't killed you.
Me: giggle, giggle
Dr.: I'd say that's a miracle.
...
I've told you much of my thyroid story in a previous blog titled I Miss My Thyroid - http://www.braypartyof4.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-miss-my-thyroid.html.
What I didn't tell you is how it seems the world sees you... What they say... What they think... How they act... How they make you feel...
As I've said before, the hardest part of my experience was the toll it took on my family. I was not physically, mentally, or emotionally able to love and nurture my husband or my children the way they deserved.
I requested help from friends and loved ones (food, housekeeping, child care). My mother-in-law is a saint. She cooked and cleaned and fed and bathed and loved and prayed for us every day. My sister is my hero. She took days off of work, moved in and took over, doing everything I couldn't. My best friend is amazing. She lived in Iowa, but coordinated meals for my family.
Let me tell you, you find out who your friends are in times like that. You learn who you can count on. And you realize just how kind, or how hurtful, others can be.
While some people willingly stepped up to the plate, others just didn't understand.
I was accused of "faking my symptoms."
I was told it wasn't "as bad as I made it seem."
How can you know if you haven't walked in my shoes?
People rolled their eyes, looked at me incredulously, and questioned my motives.
The most hurtful words were, "These are your children. You need to take care of them."
I think those words hurt me the most because they were so true. These are my children. I do need to take care of them. That's why this was so hard. There is nothing I wanted more in the world than to take care of my children. It still breaks my heart that I could not.
For it to be implied that I had abandoned my role of motherhood and had no desire to be responsible for my children... the pain of those words literally took my breath away.
...
That was years ago. I know now that God carried us through those times. My marriage is stronger now than it has ever been. And I spend every moment I possibly can loving and nurturing my children.
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I'm saying all that to say this...
If you know someone who suffers from hypothyroidism, I encourage you to pray for them. They don't look sick. They don't look tired. They don't look unhealthy. But trust me when I tell you, they are exhausted.
...
Seeds of Faith - inspired by Elisha Skeen
The world doesn't know the struggles you face. But God does.
Tell Him when you are tired. Tell Him when you are overwhelmed. He will lift you up. He will give you strength.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield;
in him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to him.
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