My name is Marci. I am a perfectionist.

My name is Marci.  I am a perfectionist.

I have always been this way.  Wanting everything in it's place - all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed - everything to run smoothly - everyone to be happy.  When everything is not perfect, I take full responsibility.  I then evaluate the situation to determine what needs to be done in order for things to be perfect.  And I go about trying to make it so.

My mom called me yesterday wanting to know who had gotten in my head and convinced myself that I am a loser.  I told her that I don't think I am a loser (not everyday).  I just want my house to be in order.  I want my time to be well managed.  I want my finances to be secure.  I want husband to be content.  I want my children to be satisfied.  I want to wake up in the morning feeling good.  I just want things to be perfect.

She reminded me that there is only person who has ever walked this earth in perfection.

This helped me to realize that every time I've tried to improve myself in the past, my goal has been perfection.  And that is why I have always failed.  Perfection is an unattainable goal.

This time, I will go about it differently.

I've given myself a report card for my life, and many areas are marked "needs improvement".  So that is my goal - to improve.

Please know I am not unhappy with my life.  I am so blessed.  My life is good.  But I know I can be better.  That's what this journey is about.

It's not about achieving perfection.  My goal is not to be the best.  I just want to be better.

To God be the glory!

Phil 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.